It’s not a secret if you know.

I have a secret 

Fragile light within me.

I know it shines through my skin

When you are near to me.

When you speak to me

Even the most passing comment

I glow.

It scares me to think that you

Might see it too

That you know it is within me,

You are the one who turns it on,

Still.

Somehow, only your look 

Your words

Are like little fingers

Which find their way inside me

That turn the dial up.

Somehow, you have a secret map

To connect the wires

Or play my veins 

Into a sad melody.

I am your Spanish guitar.

Each time you leave me

The light goes out

And I am left in darkness.

My body aches to find the switch

Itself

Open the windows to my being

And let the light in.

I do not want your fingers

Or words or music

To know me and open me

I want to glow without you.

I have a fetish for you

Is it a fetish

To want you to adore me?

To kiss my entire body

And tell me every

Minute detail about it

Is beautiful.

I heard somewhere that

Was an actual fetish.

I want you to shower me with

Words of affection

And not just piss.

They’re not mutually exclusive though

I mean

Find someone who can do both.

Madeleine Minstrels

I’m havin’ a Madeleine moment

With this bag eh Minstrels.

Mad meditating over bygone days.

Havin a long stare off into fuck all.

Filled with thoughts of me holy communion.

I member

I took me massive little white gloves off

Me tiny little hands,

An I had an unchipped french manicure miracle all day.

Me ma did me nails the night before.

And I was delighted wi’ life

Sitting in the back of our navy Nissan

Goin’ around all dee aunties

Gettin’ told I was just

Bee-uuu-tee-ful.

I’m batting me eyelashins still.

And I knew it

I was massive.

This was the first time

I ripped a packet of Minstrels open,

And the paper glided

Like scissors on sexy chris’mas wrapping paper.

And sucked on one eh dem Minstrels

Until the heat of me mouth cracked their shell open.

Therewithin,

The soft, sweet, melted chocolate

Poured its insides out to me,

Like forbidden fruit or me first secret

On’ee I was allowed have dem.

This was me real holy communion.

Chocolate exposed itself to my tastebuds

And God,

I was alive for the first time.

This moment is deeply ingrained in my memory.

Like a Minstrels virgin!

Touched,

For the very first time.

High on life, and a

Rakeload of sugar.

I have seen the light

I thought to meself.

Holy God has blessed me

An’ now I know that

This is what the holy bread should taste like

Not that tasteless rubbish

That sticks to the top of your pallet

And you take ages trying to get it off wit your tongue

And give up and pull it off wit your finger instead

An your ma gives out to you

Tellin you

Holy God is watchin’ you!

Jesus was brown

So the body of Christ should be holy chocolate too!

Gimme the holy Minstrel!